


Ash Through Your Fingers (an Arcana One Shot)

by Mstyeyed



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: All these characters have issues, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Blood Magic, F/M, Heavy Angst, Late Night Writing, Multi, Other, Random & Short, Short One Shot, may add more later, maybe not, we love them anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:02:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28543764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mstyeyed/pseuds/Mstyeyed
Summary: Takes place in a pseudo-timeline where several storylines are merged as one but my original MC, Zayna, is torn between her love for Julian and Asra's love for her. This scene happens right after Julian and Zayna barely escape the library and Zayna becomes desperate for answers so she summons Lucio's ghost and does a little ritual to restore Lucio's appearance in exchange for some information. Things go bad as they start to talk and Lucio realizes it was Asra who sabotaged the ritual and Zayna who received the body. Asra steps in just in time and throws Lucio into another realm temporarily. Then it's time for a little chat with his apprentice.
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana), Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana)/Original Female Character(s), Apprentice/Asra/Julian Devorak, Apprentice/Julian Devorak
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Ash Through Your Fingers (an Arcana One Shot)

**Author's Note:**

> Just got this random idea for some angst in the middle of the night and thought I might just share. I may be inspired to fill in some more scenes surrounding it later but don't hold your breath or anything, lol. sorry.

Asra is holding my wrist so tight it is going numb as he marches down the hall of the abandoned wing of the palace where I just had a little coup de ta with a certain dead-not-dead count.

I know he's angry, but I have some anger of my own to match it. Once we make it to the main wing his grip loosens a little and I wrench my hand free.

"What did he mean by that?" I demand, " That YOU had given me HIS body???"

Asra stops in his tracks and whirls to face me. His voice is surprisingly level, although I can see the flash in his eyes. He is livid.

"As much as Lucio ever means. Everything is mine and if it isn't, it should be."

I roll my eyes. Of course. Deflecting as usual. Why did I expect anything else?

Something dark comes over his face and I recoil a bit anticipating the rebuke, but he pulls back. Looking around at the open hallway he grabs my wrist once more and pulls me into a nearby room shutting the door for privacy. He turns to face me, exploding.

"What were you thinking? Why would you go to him? How was that even possible? Why was he so tangible? How could he touch you? How could he touch you???"  
He grabs my shoulders grip tightening and with each question, his voice raises just a bit until I can hear the fear in his volume.

"I-- I..." I swallow my words. "I needed answers."

Asra searches my face for another meaning. I feel small but I won't let him belittle me, I stare back unrelenting. He finds it.

"Blood magic. Zayna!?! You used-- God! I warned you-- Didn't I warn you?!?!" Asra is popping off now but I have found my resolve and brace myself as I shout.

"I AM DESPERATE!"

Asra falls silent.

"The courtiers are gunning for blood and Nadia wants to give them Julian's and he won't leave the city and YOU won't give me answers! I have no other options!!!" The feelings I have been pushing down begin to claw their way to the surface and I choke back a sob before I can continue.

Asra stares at me, an unreadable expression on his face. But I press on.

"And don't tell me you have never been so desperate there wasn't a risk you wouldn't take."

Asra chokes. He looks like I just slapped him across the face and I don't know why. He turns away from me but I see the tremor in his hands as he leans against the vanity, shoulders trembling, breathing labored.

What did I say?

"Asra?" I offer timidly.

"You have no idea." His voice cracks, barely above a whisper.

It breaks me to hear the pain laced in his voice, but I hope that he might finally open up, let me in, tell me what that sorrow behind his eyes actually is. I wait for a second, unsure. Afraid that if I say the wrong thing or move too soon, he'll retreat back behind his walls. Finally, I venture.

"Then why don't you tell me?"

He turns, tears streak his face.

"I've tried."

Now it's my turn to be stunned. He has?

"You what?"

"I tried to tell you, about the past-- your past... but it-- it was too much. You couldn't handle it-- you'd, drift and I couldn't reach you. I tried so hard but I couldn't reach you. And I was so scared that you'd never come back to me so I... I..." He trails off as if the next part is something he shouldn't say. And I think I know but I need to be sure.

"You what?" My heart rate races and I can feel my blood begin to grow hot.

"I had to find a way to bring you back so I... I took what I had told you. Erased the memory." He looks at me, eyes pleading with me to understand. But I don't. I can't. Not with the anger that I feel. The violation of trust, the fact that he could just take something and erase that part of me. That he felt like it was his right to be in charge of that part of my life and my connection to it. He tries to go on...

"Zayna, I couldn't let you--"

The room blurs as hot tears fill my eyes.

"YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE THAT FOR ME!"

The silence is thick as blood.

"You took a part of me. Without giving me a choice. My past, my memories, and MY pain! It's mine to bear if I want it! You don't get to just take it because you can't watch me or you don't think I can handle it!"

I realize that what I am saying may not be the most logical thing to be saying, but the hurt that I feel from the distrust is so consuming. I see the words penetrating Asra's heart and I stop. I love him, I really do. And I know that he has always done what he thinks is best for me and protected me in every way he can. And I think that at some point I may understand but right now, I can't. I need some space. Some time. Without those amethyst eyes watching over me, controlling my every move.

I step past him toward the door.

"Zayna."

My hand pauses on the door. His voice is thick with hurt. I can't look at him so I just stay facing the door, back to the room where he stands.  
I know I've hurt him and I want to feel bad but I just can't feel like we are even just yet. But I give him a second to say what he wants.

"I'm sorry."

I wasn't expecting that. Asra never apologizes. It sinks in and I accept it, or I think I will, eventually. But time, I need time. I finally look over my shoulder to see him standing head in his hands, fingers combing through white curls, and I know he means it.

"I believe you. And I'm going to forgive you, I just-- I have to work some things out." My voice sounds thin and seems to be swallowed up. But he nods so I think he hears it. I open the door and head to the library. I need answers and right now this is one of the only quiet places that I may be able to find them.


End file.
